Limits

I limit myself. This could possibly be my biggest problem in life. My life is pretty fantastic; I have a wonderful family, Jeff has a great job, everyone is healthy, my calling is not to taxing, my mother-in-law never gives me unwanted advice on how to raise my kids; life is really good. But everyone must have trials, and I give myself mine. Instead of pushing myself to serve and strive for perfection, I sit back and say, "I don't want to get in over my head." If this is all seeming a bit fuzzy, I'll share an example. I have always thought I could volunteer at a local retirement community, but then I think, "I don't have time," (yes, I do, I have lots of time)or I think "I don't want to catch a disease to bring home to my kids," (Kids get sick you can't avoid everything.) I have lots of lame limiting excuses. There was a position open on the city recreation committee and I really wanted to apply but was too scared to commit to possibly spending time away from home. (I was actually really close to doing this one, but then realized they probably wouldn't pick me cause I owe back POA dues on my new house.) Would it really hurt my family to be gone one night a week for a good cause? Wouldn't the Lord bless and strengthen my family if I did a good thing?
Teaching about the pioneers in primary I tend to think yeah, it was sucky hard physically, but at least it was a yes or no, do or die, decision to make. Things were so black and white. My testimony in Christ is the one strong thing I have, and I feel like I can say I would have crossed the plains. The big decisions seem to be the easiest ones for me. It is the everyday little decisions of how to use my time wisely and how to love and be kind, that are the killers for me.
This has all comes about because of a recent experience I have had. I was really being lazy with my primary calling and before Mae came I wasn't sure what I was going to do about juggling her and the class, and also finding a sub while I was on maternity leave. At times I wished they would just release me even though I really do still love Primary. I kept complaining that couldn't find a sub, but honestly I didn't really try. I feel pretty bad that I just dumped that on the presidency. After I felt better, I kept not going with the excuse that I didn't want her to catch anything, and what was I going to do with my class if I had to go nurse? I was complaining about this to everyone, (sounding pretty whining I am sure.)
One day my lovely visiting teacher came over and after I had complained to her, something in her message hit me, I honestly can't remember what exactly it was, but I realized that I was the one with the problem here, and it was up to me to fix it. Instead of waiting for the ward to change things to fit the way I wanted it, I needed to ask the Lord to help me solve the problems. So I prayed that Mae would not need to nurse during class time and for two weeks now, she hasn't. She has slept and been good. I also prayed that we wouldn't get sick, and aside from a small cold, we have been enjoying remarkable health. I know that neither of these are always going to last, but I have faith that The Lord has made it possible for me to teach my class because I found the correct way to ask for help. I also have faith that things will continue to work out someway in the future, as long as I work at it and stop limiting myself.
If I really want to follow Christ and gain eternal salvation I need to stop setting limits and push myself to do better. So this is my new goal,(a bit early for a resolution but hey, no limitations right?) I am not going to live in fear of the unknown anymore. I am going to have faith that if I am pursuing worthy things that The Lord will bless me and help things to work out.

Hmm... bet you all weren't expecting that. Thanks for sticking with it. I promise more light hearted fun with the next post as a reward for your fortitude.