Not on the short bus yet

The therapy clinic/ daycare where Mae attended speech therapy three times a week suddenly decided they wanted to drop the therapy.  Thus we had about a month of time where Mae was not in therapy while they prepared the paperwork to have her seen elsewhere.  I feel as though the Lord was behind my trip to Little Rock this spring.  He knew this would happen so made sure I was prepared to help her myself with the instruction I got from my talented cousin Liz.  Our new clinic is nice.  It is a really friendly but busy place.  Unlike the previous clinic it is only a therapy clinic and the other children seem to fall into the heavily handicapped category.  I felt like the children at the last clinic seemed more affected by their poor socio-economic circumstances while the new children appear more physically disabled.  But that is based solely on unreliable observation.  The new therapist is nice.  She and Mae seem to get along well.  They meet twice a week for an hour, (well it is more like 50 min cause the therapist and the mother of the kid before Mae seem to be best friends and chit chat about shopping and crap forever while I am just standing there.  But whatever I'm not paying for this so I can't really complain.) 

So here's the thing.  When Max was a kid and I expressed my concern about his slightly delayed speech I hear lots of anecdotes about how so and so's nephew didn't talk at all until he was four then one day started talking in complete sentence.  (I mean I hear LOTS of these stories.)  So I think part of me figured that Mae would do the therapy for a few weeks then just snap out of it, or I suppose into it, and start talking.  Well, that obviously didn't happen.  We do see a lot of progress, but it all baby steps.  She says more, I would guess her word count is close to 100 now, and I do think she comprehends more.  Right now we are working on getting her to say the ends of words.  She only starts words like saying, Ba instead of Bath.  We have to defer a lot from context.  I have given up on the snap out of it dream.  We also had Mae tested for developmental therapy.  Unlike the speech evaluation I had to stay for the entire hour and a half session.  I watched the therapist talk to Mae and play with her.  Had I not had Spike and Max to deal with, (cause I didn't know I would be staying,) it would have been very interesting.  It would seem that Mae will also qualify for developmental therapy once a week.  I haven't seen the official write up yet, but the gist I got from the therapist is that Mae is developing just fine, except where her communication and speech are concerned.  So you'd think that would just mean sticking with the speech, but hey they come to your house for this and I figure this will only enhance the work we do with the speech therapist. 

Funny enough the physical therapist walked past Mae in session a few weeks ago and was concerned about her walking and sitting.  We had noticed that she was a bit pigeon toed, but when she had her 2 year check up with the doctor, we were advised she'd grow out of it.  Well it would seem not.  So she will be evaluated for that also completing the trifecta.

So how do I feel about all this?  Well my first thought is obviously that I just want to do what will help my kid.  We so badly want to communicate with her.  One of the questions the developmental therapist asked me during the evaluation almost got me to tears.  She asked if Mae would describe to me how she felt or if she would tell me when she didn't feel well?  I hadn't put it together that she was supposed to be doing that yet.  She just cries when she doesn't feel well.  I guess I sometimes ignore her developmental milestones cause I just lump her behavior off as younger then Max.  I want so badly to know what is wrong with her when she is ill.  A few nights ago some friends were remarking on how their kids talk in their sleep.  One boy will call out, "horsey," and giggle.  While I am aware this isn't something all kids do, I wish I knew more about what was going on in Mae's mind. 

Do I feel that my kid is not smart?  Wow, that looks bad to type.  But here's the thing- everyone was subconsciously asking that question in their heads.  No, Mae is smart, and not in a "special" way, and I am not in denial.  I don't have a problem with all these things, cause I did most of them myself, (don't think I don't know you're all thinking "well that explains a lot.")  I had to wear corrective shoes as a baby, and I also took speech in elementary school.  I don't see Mae's struggles as a mental defect, but more as a really good potential essay for colleges about overcoming learning disabilities.  Ha Ha we already have a leg up on the competition!  Will she be in the Blue Birds reading group?  I have no idea.  Maybe this will all be resolved before she even gets to school, or maybe it will be something we have to work on for a long time.  I'm okay with either.  Max can't read yet, and that's fine by me.  I figure learning to read will give him something to do in Kindergarten.  If I had a nickel for every person who has told me their kid was bored in Kindergarten, well I would use them all to pelt at the obnoxious parents.  (Any person who is bored doesn't have a good enough imagination.)  Maybe my kids will be geniuses, maybe not, I don't know.  I do know that they will be loved, taught the Gospel of Jesus Christ, educated, and hopefully they will know that the most important thing they can do in life is not sit through a green arrow.