I do know what is wrong with me. For the last four days I have been totally out of wack, quick to anger at the littlest, stupidest things. Most of the last four days have been spent going from screaming at my kids for silly/minor infractions to lengthy internal debates of what my problem really is. Am I depressed? Do I need a break? Churching up? Medication? I don't honestly know. I do know I have had a nasty cough for the last week and am a bit stressed by Mae "potty training," as well as getting the house ready to sell. But I don't really feel that these together constitute an excuse for the absolute awful way I have been treating my kids. I think the worst part is I don't see any end in sight or any way to make it stop. Long prayers have done nothing. I just feel stressed and desperate.
3 comments:
"have you tried hari krishna?"
Seriously though, is it time to come to Little Rock? We'll take the canoe out, eat a cheeseburger, stuff like that.
No advice here, but I can relate. Sometimes I have that short fuse toward Addison, but more often it's towards Neal. At times (read: at least once a day) I just get so irrationally angry and annoyed with the littlest, dumbest things. Like when he doesn't push the button down on the tub faucet to release all the water out of the shower head. Even writing that I realize how dumb it is, but it just IRKS me! Anyway, if it were me, I would start with a break and see how that goes. In fact, tomorrow is my "day off" -- I've told Neal for two weeks that I am taking the day off and everything has been planned around that. (Of course, I'm blessed to have that option because some people can't do that even if they try.) But one thing I've noticed is that I am enjoying my "day off" even though it hasn't happened yet; the anticipation helps my mood. Good luck!
Ugh, I'm so sorry you're feeling that way. It is a suffocating feeling to be aware that you're in a funk and not in control enough to fix it. I hope this week is better!
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