Eyeball

If the title alone made you uncomfortable then I suggest you avoid this post altogether.  My whole life I have suffered from watery eyes.  Several times a year when I was either sick with a cold or allergies my eyes would water so badly and continually that I couldn't see.  When I was a child it was annoying to have classmates assume that I was always crying and now that I am an adult it keeps me from driving, cooking, and taking care of my kids.  Medicine never seemed to help.  Cold and allergy medicine would take away my other symptoms but nothing touched my eyes.  And it always bugged me that none of the symptoms listed in the commercials talked about watery eyes.  This past month I learned why.... I don't have watery eyes, I have dry eyes.  My eyes get so dry that they over produce tears.  Yeah that doesn't makes sense to me either, but that's the truth.  I discovered this recently by going to the eye doctor.  I never really thought of going to the doctor about this before because I always assumed there was noting that could be done.  I only ever went to walmart to get my eyes checked cause I am cheap like that so I've never had a real specialist look at my eyes. 
This latest round started the same way, at Sam's Club.  The guy looked at my eyes and suggested I try contacts again since my prescription had changed.  They were better this time, but my eyes were still dry after 30 minuets.  So I went back and the guy was being very weird saying that there was nothing he could do about it and that I should just give up.  Since I was already going to buy glasses at this clinic down the street that my neighbor works at; I decided to meet with the specialist there about contacts.  The doctor looked at my eyes and listened to my history.  He said I was a classic case of dry eyes.  He gave me some different contacts to try and sent me to come back a week later for a follow up.  These contacts weren't much of an improvement.  I went back and looking at my eyes again saw that the ducts were all gunked up.  I wasn't producing many tears to begin with.

 *WARNING STOP HERE IF SQUEAMISH*  The only thing to do was scrape the gunk out.  Yup he scraped my eyeballs.  I thought running a half marathon made me pretty bad-ass, but that was nothing to sitting through 30+ minuets of eyeball scraping. And yes, it was as bad as it sounds. 

*SAFE TO CONTINUE*  A week later and not much change.  I still have dry eyes, so yesterday we switched to a different brand.  We can try dailies next and if none of that works then I get to have my tear duct drains plugged.  Seriously.  But despite all the pain, headaches, and dry eyes, I am encouraged to maybe solve a problem that has bothered me my whole life. 

Spike

Time for a Spikey update.  I find it almost unbelievable how he can look so much like Max but be a completely different person.  This kid is not going to settle for being a Max clone.  He has much stronger opinions about what he wants and doesn't want then Max ever showed.  Yet like all my kids he is slow to speech and expresses his feelings with annoying squawks and grunts.  I feel I deserve an early speaker with the next kid.  He likes popcorn and cereal.  This kid cannot get enough popcorn.  They have installed a popcorn machine at the entrance to the associate store and I feel like it is now a 50 cent tax on my visits there.  Spike likes to take baths and loves playing outside.  He likes to dance and is adorable when he bounces his head to the music in the car.  We "pop some tags," in this house.  He has started giving hugs and it is the most enjoyable experience.  He hugs me, Jeff, Max but not Mae.  He doesn't like Mae and the feeling is mutual.  They avoid each other for the most part, but on occasion butt heads.  They remind me of co-workers; they do their own thing while realizing that they are stuck in the same office with the same boss.  So I guess it is good practice for their futures.  I adore putting Spike in old Max outfits.  It will just kill me if the next kid is not a girl cause there are just too many Mae outfits I need to see again.  (Disclaimer I am not currently pregnant, and no intention on being so this year.)  Spikey had a blast at Silver Dollar City this weekend.  He liked the carousel and the jumping water fountain.  He hated waiting in line and he hated it when his sibling could go on rides without him. We rode the frogs and butterflies together.  I love watching this guy barrel tummy first with all his speed toward his various destinations.  He loves attacking Jeff when he arrives home from work.  Spike says Mama, Dada and Yeah.  Love this little guy.

Also Blog FYI:  A few comments were deleted recently by accident.  Sorry.

The Kindness of Strangers.

I ran the big race today, the Bentonville Half Marathon.  I toyed with the idea of running it since last fall and committed to run it this past January.  It seemed like a good goal to set.  To be honest I thought it would be good way to recharge my weight-loss and push myself to do something hard.  While it didn't help much with the weight, I do feel like I accomplished something really worthwhile.  While training I dealt with some inner shin splints and a sore IT Band, but am happy to report no other injuries.  It was hard to devote so much time to the training, and the extra guilt of knowing that Jeff was giving up his Saturday mornings to watch the kids, and as the runs got longer, his afternoons to take care of the kids and me.  I hope that Max saw this sacrifice and struggle of ours to do something different and hard. 

It started off to a rough start this morning.  Part of the reason I started running was the social aspect of being with friends and pushing each other.  As we got closer to the date everyone else decided they had other plans, and then the night before I figured out I would be doing the whole thing all alone.  As I pulled up to the start it was hard seeing everyone so excited with their friends and teammates.  We started and the loneliness hit me pretty hard the for the first three miles.  I got to the point where I started crying and almost hyperventilated when I pulled into a ritzy neighborhood and saw a group of 5-6 ten year old boys in a rock band jamming their hearts out.  To top it off there was a young girl watching them with her pet chicken.  It was so absurd that it snapped me out of my depression and I was able to get going.  I ran into a friend at mile 6 and we ran together for about a half mile before she was off to relay with her teammate.  It was a nice distraction.

Props to the city of Bentonville for having speakers at the cemetery blasting, "Don't Fear the Reaper,"  excellent.  I think my favorite parts where when we went to areas I don't normally run through.  It was distracting to see new places.  I also loved running down North Walton which was closed to traffic.  I made sure that I took water at all the stations but it just kills me to throw the paper cups on the ground.  I know someone is gonna pick them up but it just feels so very very wrong.  I don't litter!   

I am so grateful for the kindness of strangers.  I was blown away by all the people out in their lawns cheering everyone on.  There were families cheering on loved ones, but they cheered just as hard for me.  This helped combat the loneliness.  I loved the little kids who put their hands out for high fives and the elderly people with encouraging smiles.  I know I have said it too many times before, but I truly live in the best place on Earth.  I will never leave Arkansas.  These people are so amazing and genuine.  I am determined to help out at this from now on.  Thank you to all the volunteers handing out water.  Thank you to all the police officers holding back traffic.  Thank you to all the organizers who set the race up, and thank you to all the people who cheered me on.  Thank you Kasey for the sidewalk message, and thankyou Meg for the cd.

I also want to give a special shout out to my Bishop's Wife, Jocelyn.  We haven't had a lot of interaction over the years given our different callings and children's ages, but we have been friendly.  She came across me running around mile 9 as she was out training for another, (harder run,) and she jogged with me for about a quarter of a mile offering encouraging words.  She then showed up at mile 11 and ran the end of the big NASTY hill with me cheering me the whole way.  I can't find the words to describe my gratitude to her for this friendship I was really needing today.  She ran me almost to the finish line where I saw Jeff and Max.  It was nice to see them.  It was a bit odd at the actual finish line cause I ended up crossing all by myself, and it was like the whole crowd had taken a minute check their phones til the next group showed up so there was not much cheering and no friends to say good job.  Jeff and Max found me and walked me to the car in a sweet but very anti-climatic finish to the whole thing.  But oh well it is over and now I know what it feels like. 

I don't think the human body was meant to run 13.1 miles.  While I am happy to report that my knee and shins held up pretty well, I have had some other unpleasant side effects today that well I'll just say I have been stuck close to ladies room all day.  Will I ever run another half marathon?  Maybe if I had a friend to run it with.  Will I ever run a marathon?  Probably not.  I think I'll be a 10K girl for now on. 

Another shout out to my mom.  She is not a fan of running, which she has mentioned more then once to me over the past, but she was amazingly supportive of me this past week.  She called me several times to week to encourage me and took in the entire recap with praise this afternoon.    Thanks mom.   

P.S.  I ran it in 2 hours 37 minutes.  I don't care that I ran it in this time, nor would I have cared if I ran it faster or slower.  I really don't care about speed or time.