Crazy Hat Lady

So a lady in my ward came up to me this afternoon, was incredibly rude, and probably has no idea. This lady and I don't exactly run in the same circles. She has older children and so we don't have much in common. She and another lady saw me holding Spike and she approached me and seemed confused to see me with a baby. She admitted her confusion and told me that she gets me confused with someone else. I jokingly asked if it was Charlize Theron, she didn't find that funny, (although I did get a chuckle from her friend.) She almost seemed to be getting mad at me for her confusion and then offered me a clue as to whom in the ward she meant and I filled in the blank. She agreed with my guess and instead of being grateful to me for easing her confusion she acted as if she was agitated that I had put her in this position of having to acknowledge me in the first place. I would not at all been surprised is she had finished the conversation with, "Well you all look the same to me." I am bugged for the following reasons;
1. The whole tone was rude
2. I know who she is, while we don't run in the same circles, we have had enough interaction that I do feel she should know me, (I would give specifics, but too many ward members read this blog.)
3. No one wants to be compared to someone else. You don't know how I feel about that person. And what exactly about us makes us similar? Looks? Age? Life situation? Personality? Accent?

So what lessons do we take from this encounter? I am not very memorable. After six years in this ward I cannot be distinguished from the crowd of other young mothers. I am not funny but instead a source of frustration for the elderly. Alas if only the church allowed extreme piercings or facial tattoos I could distinguish myself. Perhaps I could start wearing really crazy hats. I could be the crazy hat lady. Done and done. Off to Dillards in the morning.

Oh come on.

I hate how kids ruin well made plans. Jeff is out of town and I have all three kids to myself. I don't have many plans for the next few days but I did plan on going to church, cause 1. The whole you're supposed to thing, and 2. Hello two hours of free daycare! So I decided to put Mae down for a nap before church and get ready. So everything worked out according to plan, except for the fact that she is still asleep. So why am I lamenting? Well I still have Max to deal with for one thing, and I am all dressed for church so I am not exactly able to start a project. You know the second I undress she will wake up. So yeah, it may seem a bit whiny to be complaining about my kid taking a nap, but why can't it for once be when I need it? You know I will only get a 30 min nap tomorrow.

Man, I feel like a woman!

Miss Mae loves to wear make-up and shoes. She has also recently started to keep bows in her hair for longer then a few minuets. The other day I was getting ready in the morning when I was distracted by Spike. While I was attending to his needs Mae was attending to her need to beautify. As you can see she got a hold of a lipstick and my deodorant. It was my favorite lipstick too. One that had just recently been found after a long absence in a rarely used purse. What a girl I have.

400 posts blog contest!

We have hit 400 posts! Who knew I had so much to say, and at the same time there is so much that I haven't said thanks to my extreme laziness. Truly if I wasn't so lazy we would probably be celebrating 500 posts, if not higher. In honor of this special occasion I am going to have another contest. The winner of long distance readers will get a $10 walmart gift card, and my local winner will get a baked good, OF THEIR CHOOSING. Okay so here we go.

I grew up watching a LOT of t.v. Remember the good ol' days of t.v. The Cosby Show, Cheers, Friends, Duck Tails. The days when show had fun opening credits with goofy songs that I will NEVER forget. At this moment I could sing you any number of t.v. show songs, from the Patty Duke Show, (Thanks Nick at Night,) to Gilmore Girls. Well for the past 15 or so years I have been so influenced by t.v. that I began to evaluate my life using a t.v. opening. Who are in my opening credits?

It has changed greatly over the years, as happens with long running shows. Fan favorites, (my sister Krista,) have left for their own spin-off, (cause yeah I am so ego centric that everyone else is a spin off of me,) only to occasionally return for sweeps cross- over episodes. There are season finales, which usually take place around my May birthday, and season premieres (which in the last five years have involved the birth of my children, i.e. new cast members. And have also included special guest visits from my parents.)

Who is in my opening credits right now? And remember this includes Important people you interact with almost daily, whether you like them or not. (We all need villains or at least drama queens!) So after a lovely mug shot of me the camera would obviously flash to Jeff then the kids. I imagine my friends Jill, Dandi, Lara and Meg would also be included in the beginning. Last season my OBGYN probably landed a spot there as a special guest star. Don't have any villains at this time, except for maybe one or two ward members I cannot name on an open blog like this. Villains in the past have included college roommates, jr. high school bullies, and evil bosses.

Theme song, as many of you will remember from my last contest, my personal theme song is Another One Bites the Dust by Queen. But sometimes I wonder if this is a bit to much for my show opening. It has never felt totally right so I reserve the right to change it is the ultimate song ever comes along. I wish I were more musically inclined, then I would create my own song.

So here is what you have all been waiting for...the contest. In order to get an entry you must list who is in your own opening credits (please specify who they are in relationship to you,) and what the song/tune it would play to. Bonus entry if you compose a new song for yourself or me. All entries must be received by Midnight Tuesday September 6th.

MAX!

Five Years Old Today!

Speaks for Itself

Come On Eileen

So I was changing Spike just now and the song, Come on Eileen, by Dixie Midnight Runners came into my head. For obvious reasons.

Things That Must Go XV.II

I can't believe I forgot this one!

1. The Divorce Notices in the Paper. I get that divorces are public record, but do they really need to list them in the paper. I say just have them on file and available to the public at the courthouse or some other municipal location. It is really nobodies business.

2. People Who Read the Divorce Section. Seriously? Who the Hell does that? I almost get the people who read the obituaries; old people keeping up with their peers, and I understand that there is a supposed art to the writing of them. But why do people read the divorce section? It is just a list of couples and dates. Are the readers trolling for singles? I am guessing that the recently divorced are not prime catches at the moment. Recently someone told me that they had read that my OBGYN was getting a divorce from her husband and partner. So sad, but none of my business. I have spent far more time then necessary speculating on how that was affecting their working relationship, (although in my defense I would have less time to spend thinking about it if I were seen more promptly at appointments.) Things must be fairly good since they both worked on my C-section as they did with Mae, (although again the topic crossed my mind while I was on the table and it was a bit of a bummer during a really happy moment. Luckily they couldn't tell I was thinking about their divorce since, as you will remember, I was giggling during the whole procedure.) But really people stop reading the divorce section, it is none of your business, if it were you most likely would have found out some other way.

Look Familiar?

While I don't have a picture to reference it, I suspect that this dress will look familiar to a few of my readers. I love that my mom saved a few clothes from when my sisters and I were children. It made me so happy to see Mae in this outfit that was first worn by my sister Suzanne.

It's Not Even My Crap!

So when we bought the house the previous owner was in the middle of trying to remodel it. He was also a pack rat, picking up various items from job sites where he worked as an electrician. He left all this crap in our garage. Two years later and its still there. Most people have their garage full of crap, but usually it is their own. Every once in awhile we get in there an work on sorting through it all. I dream about one day being able to park both cars in out large two car garage.

Thats a Lot of Basil

So it would seem that Basil likes 100+ degree weather. My tomatoes and peppers not so much.

Things That Must Go XV

1. Cyclists in the Road. Okay so Northwest Arkansas has two unique features;
a. skinny roads with no shoulders
b. tons of running/cycling trails
You would think that A. would lead to people using B. but there are always jerky cyclists slowing down traffic in Bella Vista. Bella Vista, by the way, is the worst city for no shoulders. I do believe that all the roads were measured for 1.5 cars instead of 2 which often requires you to pull off into trees or off the road entirely when a car comes in the opposite direction. This is NO place for cyclists. I really hate these guys, I don't want to hit them with my car, but I do want to roll down my window and push them over!

2. 4 Way Stop Idiots. It is bad enough that people don't know how to handle a 4 way stop, but what I really loathe is the guy who comes up after me and then waves me forward as if they are being sooooo gracious. You aren't giving me anything it is my turn to go!

3. Sudden Service Changes. Recently our garbage pick up has changed from 6-7 in the morning to 4 in the afternoon. No warning, they just suddenly started coming in the afternoon. Now because it was a shift to later it didn't per say cause me any immediate problems, but that's not the point. For several weeks we weren't sure if it was a one time thing or permeate. And now I live in a constant wonder of if they changed it once so suddenly how do I know they won't do it again.

4. CBS. Ever since Dr. Quinn went off the air when I was a kid, I have had little if no reason to watch CBS. I do not find forensic science as fascinating as the rest of America. But in the last year Jeff and I have discovered The Big Bang Theory, and I have totally gotten into the Good Wife. The problem is that CBS is the only freaking network that doesn't have shows on Hulu or Netflix. You have to watch them on CBS.com which is a horrible website which often won't show the episodes at all.

Who Spiked My Drink?

So when I was nursing Max I had enough milk to feed an entire village. It was excessive and a bit of a pain to always be wet. He did take formula occasionally but not alot. I nursed him for eight months. With Mae I had enough milk for her and that was it. We nursed together for about eight months also. Hmmm that seems to be my limit. Spike sucks at nursing and not in a good way. That boy does not want to stay awake to eat and because of that he eats for a few mins, takes and nap then wants to eat again as soon as he awakens. I end up nursing all day long and he still isn't satisfied. Grrr... My milk supply is suffering because of this which of course doesn't help matters. I went to a lactation consultant and it helped a bit, but the main problem is still Spike. I want to quit. I really do. I keep telling myself three months. I can make it to three months I'm already half way there. But I totally feel like a quitter. I know I am not and I really hate myself for feeling that way, but I do. I would like to give props to my family and friends though all of them have been really supportive. Everyone is encouraging me to quit if I want to. I hate feeling like a quitter. Believe it or not, once I get started with something, I am usually fairly good and enduring til the end, or at least pushing myself longer and harder then I want to. My big problem is getting something started in the first place. So what am I going to do? I honestly don't know. Keep going til something happens and I snap. (Not in a bad or dangerous way, just in a "I'm done!" way.) I'm pretty suprised it didn't happen when I had a cold last weekend and really wanted to take some cold medicine.


On another note, someone noted that all my kids names are also words. Yup, not planned, but true. Probably not a good things since I absolutely LOVE puns.

Aaaah! My Area!

This post is dedicated to all those who need a bit of good cheer this week.
My sister Krista and I fell in love with the show Mystery Science Theater 3000 when we were in high school. It was a Comedy Central show that made fun of old movies. In one episode they made fun of a movie called "I Accuse My Parents." In the episode some guy is hit below the belt and the commentators yell out, "Ahh my area!" Yes, it is a lame joke, but like many lame jokes it has stayed with my sister and I for the past decade or so.
When the time came for me to teach Max how to talk, I just slipped in "my area" as the phrase for private parts. It seemed like a good phrase for a small kid. I am not a big fan of hearing kids scream out anatomically correct words at the playground. And yes, I do get a small kick out of hearing the old joke.
My friend was familiar with Max's peculiar vocabulary and sent me the following message via facebook a few months back.

Now that I've grown accustomed to Max referring to his man parts his "area", all tornado disaster news coverage has become quite comical.

LIVE from Joplin:

-"My area is trashed"

-"this area is going to take a long time to recover after that type of blow"

-"We'd been going along thinking we had our area covered, but the wind picked up and things turned ugly real fast"

-"You try to get ready, and prepare your whole life for it, but after years with no action, you start to wonder if your area is ever gonna get hit. I think I had myself convinced it would never happen."

Is is a bit crude? Probably. Too soon? Maybe? Funniest thing that I have ever read? Hell Yes! To this day I cannot get through this without laughing so hard I cry.

Earning His Name

Spike is a fairly good natured baby, but we learned this week that he has a tough side. He had his first full bath this week and while I could tell he didn't like it, he didn't cry either. Spike just lay there with his fists all balled up waiting for it to be over. As you can see from his picture he is also a bit protective of the bottle. Little guy gets a bottle a day because my milk isn't doing it for him, (not that he is blameless, he is not a great nurse.) I was tempted to title this post, "Stay away from my bottle or I'll cut you," cause really that is what it looks like he is thinking. And thus we see that the attitude associated with a name like Spike suits this little guy pretty well.