For Me?

You shouldn't have. No really. So I just set up a baby registry at Target. Yeah, I know I have two kids, one of each kind, so I don't really need anything. So why the registry? Simple, Target gives you an awesome little gift bag of goodies when you create a registry. I am not above filling out a registry for some free stuff and coupons. Yup, they still send me baby coupons from Mae's registry. I did put some stuff on the registry that I want/need, but that was just to make it legit. So no need for anyone to go and get me anything. But hey if someone wants to buy me a $250 breast pump, go right ahead.

Dear Emily

Dear Emily,
Do not get pregnant again! Pregnancy sucks! You are miserable! You get three months of stomach nausea and then when that starts to go away you start feeling sore down South. Any time you walk more then a few steps you feel like you've been horse back riding all day. You look fat at that time, not pregnant but just fat. Then one day you wake up and realize you look pregnant because people start getting that worried look in their eyes that you are gonna pop right in front of them. By the last few months your hands and feet are constantly on FIRE. You have to sleep with the air conditioner on full blast for the feet but then the rest of your body, and your poor hubby, is cold. When you get a headache you are screwed cause all you can take is the world's greatest joke placebo, TYLENOL. You are even more tired then your usual tired self. With each additional child your heartburn has gotten worse, so much so that you may not survive another...something to think about. Your stride has turned into a very ungraceful waddle that gives you lower back pain, which also intensifies the pain on your sciatic nerve. You are at constant risk of pulling a charly horse in the middle of the night, but that's okay cause it is not like you are sleeping during that time. Nope, you are going to the bathroom at least three times a night. You know you have reached the end, or at least what everyone else has assumed is the end cause they haven't bothered to remember your due date despite the ten times you have already told them, because they tell you bizarre things like you looks so beautiful. Which is total crap cause you're not stupid, you looked in the mirror this morning and you know they are just trying to scrap something positive to say cause you know that they know that you are just miserable. Do I even need to remind you of how awful it was to get the stomach flu with a child kicking inside of you. The fact that Jeff didn't leave your pathetic disgusting self after hearing you wretch all night long is either a testament to his foolishness or his fear of expensive child support payments. Dear Emily please stop and read this the next time you think you want another child. There are other ways! Lots of kids need good homes. You have already seen what your kids come out looking like...you...don't you owe your kids the chance of some better genetics? Emily just say no!
With lots of love and concern,
Emily

As a matter of reminder, the ticker on the right reflects my actual due date of July 7th, while Spike is actually going to be evicted June 30th. So not too much longer now.

I'm a Big Kid now

So since Max was old enough to use plates and cups we have been an Ikea family. You know the ones I mean, the plastic brightly colored dishes small enough for little people and seen in just about every Mormon household.
Over the years I found that being so light and small made them ideal of portion control and laziness. I was beginning to use them almost exclusively. Two years ago my mom bought me a beautiful set of china for my birthday.

The blue and yellow pattern wasn't what I had registered for, that set I have none of because it was super expensive
yet I loved the pattern anyway and figured that I should at least pick the one I really like even if I never get any, anyway I loved the stuff my mom got me. I used these new plates occasionally but again my laziness would win out and Ikea would call to me. Then one evening about a year ago Jeff and I went out and a friend of ours watched the kids. When I arrived home I noticed that he had used my china to eat on. For a split second I was shocked! How? Why? Who does he think he is using the good china? Then I had a big flashing reality moment! What was he supposed to use the tiny child Ikea plates? For pete's sake why am I using them? That was when I decided I needed to be an adult and use adult plates. Really like it makes a difference to put one or the other in the dish washer. What was I saving them for? Why spend my life eating on plastic? I now have a no Ikea plate policy for myself. I am capable of eating off a plate without breaking it so I really have no need to use plastic. It has been a really nice change. There is something more satisfying about eating off a real plate. This was defiantly a change for the better.

Moody

Mae is in a bad mood this morning. Not sure why, I even offered her some of my breakfast pie. Who doesn't like breakfast pie? Don't mess with her.

Bumble and Bumble

I love how Mae is doing girly stuff that Max didn't have much interest in. She loves to dress up, color pictures, and play parent to her stuffed bunnies.

Lesson not really learned

So I feel that all people should have a healthy respect for their lawnmowers. They are potentially dangerous machines. This philosophy is reinforced by the fact that my grandmother lost the top half of two fingers to a lawn mower. My grandma is awesome and I have always kinda liked the uniqueness of her missing fingers. It has never seemed to stop her, she is an amazing seamstress and can shuffle and deal a deck of cards better then any person I have ever met. But I imagine that if you asked her she would probably say the lawnmower experience was unpleasant and would also suggest caution around the machines. (Although seriously how rude of a question would that be?)

So a few weeks ago I was outside with Max while Jeff was mowing the law. I tried to use the time as a teaching experience and told Max about my grandma. It didn't quite turn out like I had planned. First off, Max doesn't understand the concept of Great Grandparents, so now he thinks that my mom is missing fingers. Then about ten minuets later he started singing this bizarre song, "Grandma Tobler lost her fingers and she needs to find them." (All this to the tune of Old MacDonald.) I was so torn between how hilarious and awful this song was, and he just kept singing it to himself for the rest of the week. So even though I tried again to explain things, he seems a bit confused. I imagine he will be even more so when my parents show up next month and he sees that my mom has all her fingers.

I Have Issues

As if I even have to type that. The following are some things that bug me. You think I would label them as Things That Must Go, but I can admit that these are all me, and probably not healthy.

1. I hate showering after someone else. Totally crazy since water is water- it's clean! But I hate entering someone else's steam. It just feels like humidity then.

2. I hate it when people do not fill the dishwasher my way. We have had our current dishwasher for almost two years now and Jeff almost has my systen down. Now in my defense I think I have the most effective way of loading to save space and clean. It is not that I like doing dishes, cause I don't, I just get it into my head that if every time it was done right then I would have to do less dishes. My dad is pretty talented in this department. You could give him a washer he has never seen before and he would load it pretty close to how I would.

3. I hate toenails. If someone is wearing sandals and haven't trimmed in awhile I can't even talk to them. It makes me sick. As for myself and my kids well we are probably trimmed to an unhealthy level.

4. Egg salads, Potato salads, jello salads, and most pasta salads are just disgusting to me. Sometimes it is hard for me to wait in line for some deli meat just seeing that case of eggy looking goos. shudder. I can't be in the same room that and egg salad was just made in. Now this issue is probably the closest to a thing that must go, but the goos seem to make so many others happy.

5. Styrofoam. Nails on a chalk board to me. The sound Styrofoam makes 90% of the time it is touched is like my own personal kryptonite. My knees buckle and I shut down until the sound has passed. And hey, it is bad for the environment so maybe it should go.

So why the list of issues today? Well, I suppose I thought it would be therapeutic to get it out on paper, and if anyone brings me a meal when the baby is born you will know to avoid salads in Styrofoam. But seriously I think maybe it is cause I read so many blogs where people only post their perfect parts and I wanted to make it clear that I am seriously flawed. (Although the mailbox post probably pointed that out.)